razor

Happy CNY!!!

2012-01-25T21:00:00.001+08:00

so fast the CNY has passed... but n evertheless, Happy belated cny to all!!!

and... err i forgot wad i wanted to say... lol nvm..

Reminded yet again

2012-01-18T18:31:00.001+08:00

i suppose, despite of my efforts, i have failed again. thinking that i have changed a little something, when in fact i am still the same..

sometimes i wonder if i am of any importance to any 1. Not for what i can do, but for who i am. come to think of it, may be b just my family?

and i am slowly loosing faith my relationships.. and i have even yet to experience any.. may b i seen or heard too many experiences..

even if i were to really start a relationship, i am really not convinced that it will work out? yeah. i hope that gal would really convince me. i dun really have much money.. i dun have a lot to talk about.. i am not good with keeping conversations up, when going out, i dun have any ideas on where to go.. or im just afraid that she would not want to go..

hm.. last time i used to go towards this goal to find a companion, have a few kids then slowly and peacefully grow old..

but now its slowly fading.. and i am loosing faith in it.. so here comes another question.. what is my goal in life? may b i shall continue on believing that it will work out?

i dun know..

ok.. talk about something else? this Monday i had a bloated stomach.. it woke me up at 3.30 in the morning. and kept me feeling weak all day long.. during that night, i ate a panadol and slept through the night.. i realised i had a slight fever too.

but anyways, the next day most of it had gone away. just sometimes cramp in the stomach. randomly throughout the day.

hais.. spending so much effort trying to get out of the cycle.. i sometimes wonder what is my progress.. or have i even moved in the first place..

Just a video about a guy on a date with a model

2012-01-08T18:06:00.001+08:00

well, i saw this video on razor tv. it was about this guy who won a date to go on a date with a calendar gal. they met at a restaurant. but it looks like the gal is initiating most of the conversations. Hm...

then the guy looks very nervous. i think its cos like they mentioned its his first date with a gal and there are cameras around him. The gal muz b thinking "he is so shy!!" hahahahaha.

come to think of it, may b i also like tat. lol... but nvm i think i might just wanna be myself anyways. presenting a fake me to somebody that i like will give that person a wrong impression of who i am. wouldn't it?

but theres one little problem. i dun really like small talk. so how to i get a conversation started? if i were to only use topics like job, or interests, they would run out in a matter of sentences. hm.. i dun really have any idea on how to carry on the conversation do i...

hahas. wadver la.. but thats just me. being hu i am.. may b i might change.. but hu knoes?

Quote i saw sumwhere : "Love when you are ready. not when you are lonely."

A 90 year old ending. and another beginning

2012-01-08T13:33:00.001+08:00

on the 27 Dec 2011, i received a call at around 9 to 10pm. saying that my granny has passed away. well, she lived to a great age of 90. she had many kids. and has witnessed about 5 generations? including her own.

so i would say that she is 1 lucky person. from what i heard she started breathing heavily since morning. she struggled until at night then gone..

from her funeral, i realised something. "secret organizations" really exists. at first even though i was growing up in the middle of it, i didnt really believe though. but since that event. it was actually real O.o

ok so after she is gone, the domestic helper was being sent back as well. not really back to her country as she still wanna earn money in sg, she was sent back to the agent. So we gotta do our house work by ourselves.. not that we never done before, but.. nvm..

Quote of the moment : "Pleasure is a form of selfishness. The more pleasure u wanna achieve, the more selfish you will have to be or are."

Hi

2011-12-28T20:27:00.001+08:00

Hope you get this on time, I made a trip to Madrid, Spain and had my bag stolen from me with my passport, cash and credit cards in it. Unfortunately for me, I've made contact with my bank but they are not providing a fast solution. I need you to lend me some money to sort my self out of this predicament, I will pay back as soon as I return.

Western Union transfer is the best option to send money to me. Let me know if you need my details(Full names/location) to make the transfer. You can reach me via email or the hotel's desk phone +34962463149.

I await your response....

Cheers~,

Guo Wei

Humans are like boats sailing in the Sea of Life. Every aspect of the human

is a part of the boat. And the only thing thats holding them together

is self-confidence.

What if i said

2011-12-16T16:44:00.001+08:00

what if i said i put in effort not to earn money, but to keep myself alive so that i can fulfill that 1 lill dream of mine. or at least got a chance to fulfill it?

another new discovery?

2011-12-16T09:39:00.001+08:00

hm.. i made a discovery that i cannot fall asleep in a cold room. for example an air conditioned room. even though i am tired.

may b i can include this together with body temp dropping below normal. same thing, cannot sleep.

so.. for me to sleep, i will need a... well ventilated room. yeah. that will do. no need conditioning.

Just wondering..

2011-12-12T20:38:00.001+08:00

hm.. just wondering..

if i just suddenly talk to a friend that i have not seen for a long period of time, how would it be like? if i say something that is closely related to her life, then it would have seem like as if i am stalking her all this while. but then if i were to use other topics, what other topics do i have?

stalking might probably a turn off to her.. or may b look at it another way.. i might be getting the wrong message. Its not whats she was trying to mean, but its something. else. that i do not have a clue about..

however, say if i talk to another person, minus away my work stuff, what else do i have? lets see.. how about archery may be? but the other friend of mine would not be very interested in it. so it might just end after 1 or 2 lines?

how about topics that most guys would probably be into? like soccer? or girls?

hm.. may be for other guys ba.. but not for me. i dun watch soccer and i do not know anything about soccer nor do i play it as a sport or any recreational activity. girls? well, for others, they have plenty of experience i guess. For me, i dun really expect much of it to happen in my life though i do long for one. a proper one. not those play play then forget about it.

lets just say probably it fate ba. i dun really get chances. And probably even if i really do, i do not have enough of a courage to go foward. i suppose this is a turn off for girls? and on top of that, my life i really kinda boring. in the view of others i suppose. no drinking, no clubbing, no soccer.. so there isnt much left. which in turn makes another turn off for girls.

so to simply sum up, i am kind of a turn off? probably to others yes. but to myself, no. i just find my life meaningful enough for me. i dun want much.

i already cant drink or eat cold stuff. which i realized during sec sch days. and now probably gotta take away seafood too. except for fish. cos from what i found out, it has the similar effect as cold stuff. leading to sinus acting up. but so far no asthma attacks yet. though i encountered a few occasions of tight breathing already. hopefully it will stop

after all that above, how do i actually start a topic with other people? i seen some approach in movies. make the person you are talking to the interesting one. will it work? not sure. yet to try it out on a stranger person.

i think my face scares people off too. one look boring, no courage = dead. hahaha

ok la thats all for now. i said quite a long piece. till next time ^^

its just me..

2011-12-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

its just me.. looking for a new beginning.

still lost

2011-11-30T17:12:00.001+08:00

Still lost... where to start.. to find new motivation..

look left look right, things seems to have not much of a meaning.. i do more, no meaning either.

and i got this problem of greeting people. i dun like to greet people other than those that i know or have been working closely with. for a long time..

and i think this is going to get me into trouble sooner or later.. or it already have..

randomly seeing a high ranking guy walking along the path way.. i dont greet them. then i get scolded.. this is some kinda rule at the work place here.. well, greet already then? never greet then? does it mean that we dun greet = u r transparent? well, to me you are not.

but whatever la.. i try to greet lo.. to these people, greet fr the sake of greeting lo.. k la i guess thats about it fr this post.. c ya..

Again?

2011-11-27T17:28:00.001+08:00

and yet again it seems that i am somewhere lost in the direction of life..

last few times, when i searched for new directions, i found something new instead..

so im wondering if i should try again. probably i should ba.

find another purpose in life....

find a motivation..

find a direction..

its been some time since i posted anything.. my life has been kinda low profile.. not much happenings.. but hu knoes? may b tml i will find sth new. =)

Long time no swim

2011-11-18T10:42:00.001+08:00

ytd i went fr a swim.. its been quite some time since i last did that. cos quite a number of nights it waz raining.. then i cant go..

but well, ytd i went.. and only swim a few laps and my leg started to feel tired already.. esp the calf area..

and recently dun know y its as though i became weaker.. a little tired already.. then when i came back from the swim, wa.. climb up the stairs the leg like ache only... . i wonder wads going on..

may b its the environment im sleeping in?

theres a fan directly blowing at my bed.. though its rotating. then i will wake up with running nose.. so i covered the area of my bed so that no wind blows in.

not sure if it works.. wait fr a while more ba.. then see how it goes..

Long time no swim

2011-11-18T10:41:00.001+08:00

ytd i went fr a swim.. its been quite some time since i last did that. cos quite a number of nights it waz raining.. then i cant go..

but well, ytd i went.. and only swim a few laps and my leg started to feel tired already.. esp the calf area..

and recently dun know y its as though i became weaker.. a little tired already.. then when i came back from the swim, wa.. climb up the stairs the leg like ache only...

i do some other exercise also like getting tired faster than before.. leh.. i wonder wads going on..

may b its the environment im sleeping in?

theres a fan directly blowing at my bed.. though its rotating. then i will wake up with running nose.. so i covered the area of my bed so that no wind blows in.

not sure if it works.. wait fr a while more ba.. then see how it goes..

Long time no swim

2011-11-18T10:40:00.001+08:00

ytd i went fr a swim.. its been quite some time since i last did that. cos quite a number of nights it waz raining.. then i cant go..

but well, ytd i went.. and only swim a few laps and my leg started to feel tired already.. esp the calf area..

and recently dun know y its as though i became weaker.. a little tired already.. then when i came back from the swim, wa.. climb up the stairs the leg like ache only.. hahahahahahaha.

i do some other exercise also like getting tired faster than before.. leh.. i wonder wads going on..

may b its the environment im sleeping in?

theres a fan directly blowing at my face.. though its rotating. then i will wake up with running nose.. so i covered the area of my bed so that no wind blows in.

not sure if it works.. wait fr a while more ba.. then see how it goes..

well?

2011-10-31T23:05:00.001+08:00

i thought of this sentence moments ago..

if you dun have the confidence to look at yourself in the photo, what makes you think that others will look at you in the photo?

also, if you dun have the confidence to look at yourself, then its the same as not giving others the confidence to look at you.

so may be changing the amount of confidence you have in yourself in a certain perspective will also change the amount of confidence others see in you in that perspective?

so may b thats y ppl say have self-confidence..

Forever Alone?

2011-10-17T22:49:00.001+08:00

today, i made a joke that went over the line...

it could have turned out with me injured.. but..

the other party was kind enough to stop it.

am i a sadist? building up things then destroying them later so that i can build it again?

this kinda behavior could easily make me end up in a forever alone situation..

and i dun want it..

i guess there are lots of things yet to be done to make myself a better person ba.

may b i should find a better approach to things then practice and finally use it.

i wonder when.. will i be able to get myself free from this spell..

this spell where by whenever i happen to see a gal that i like, already has a bf.. and most of the time i dun see the bf at first.. its only until later..

my chances are getting smaller by the moment.

o yea.. and probably the chances of me seeing her again have finished ba. with the last time seen on the chalet..

there goes the last view.. and still, nothing changed or nothing began in da first place..

New Changes?

2011-10-03T19:34:00.001+08:00

hm.. seems like something is going to happen at my workplace soon.

new equipments are coming in.. but of cos there wont be any share for me..

but if i am not wrong, the work load is going to increase and it might just hit me. for good or for bad?

i have no idea too. but this might just be a chance for me to learn something new.

i think i have this problem about responsibility. i seem to be rather afraid of it.

dont dare to take up new responsibilities. may b is cos i am afraid of making mistakes?

perhaps one day i should try.. taking up responsibilities see how i myself react to them.

they could come in handy in the future. i also wanted to boost my confidence..

so i tried something else recently. sing and record it. then put it on top of the original version just that the vocals are taken away. like karaoke.

i know that my voice isnt good. so the first few tries even though wad i was doing, but i was still nervous.

but then after a few tries it felt kinda alrite le. just that my voice dont really sound nice. any certain pitches cant really reach.

probably gotta practice more. hahahaha may be one of this times i overlap it and post it on my own blog. LOL

and the song title is gonna be Zhuan ji. by wilbur pan.

one more thing. my house is going to have a new coat of paint. soon. how soon i oso dun know.

but i have a few colors in my mind. and my family agreed to those colors.

they are Irish White(a shade of white) for the ceiling and Baby breath(a shade of violet) for the walls. and the doors. toffee. my mother wanted some color that no body else has. indeed that is a very special color. hahahahaha

Quotes from another source...

2011-09-21T23:22:00.001+08:00

well, after i read something, i realized that my mind set gotta change in certain areas if i wanna get wad i was looking for..

here are the few lines i saw in the post :

boys who grab you by the waist;

boys who loves cooking/baking with you;

boys who pick you up when they hug you;

boys who are really tall;

boys who are excited to show you off to their friends;

boys who dont take forever to text back;

boys who dont act differently around their friends;

boys who are intelligent;

boys who goes to bookstores with you;

boys who make a good impression on your friends and family;

well,

there are some points that i dont know if i am able to do them yet...

for example act differently around their friends cos i scared i might scare you away...

also there are some that i know i wont be doing it well.

for example make a good impression on friends and family.. but i will try my best...

and finally there are some that i know i could do them and would like to do it.

for example cooking/baking.

but well, i dun even haf a gf to start with. i shall try to trail and error on other areas first ba...

Contradictions?

2011-09-16T18:12:00.001+08:00

there is this saying that you will find the right one...

but how to you actually define which is the right one?

cos there is also this saying that everyone is going to hurt you. after all, its about the one that the hurt is most worth while.

and after one big round, it seems like it all contradicts each other..

o ya n btw..

the older you become, the more is being expected out of you.. but people tend to over see something.

you are getting older. which means you might not be as good as you used to be..

but one things for sure.. theres a chance that you will become more mature..

n i suppose thats the part where you will be killed from the inside..

Failed attempt.

2011-09-15T12:43:00.001+08:00

this morning went for driving test. dun know why but dam nervous. and could see the result coming..

then during the warm up, the instructor pointed out some of my mistakes. dun know y but im still dam gan jiong..

then finally the actual tester came.. he called my name and my breath was already shaking.. k then i started the car and moved off.

now came the slope.. it went up smoothly.. may be i was getting complacent too quickly.. i didnt really stop all the way when going down slope.. so he warned me that i didnt stop. ok. then i started to anyhow already.. as i was getting more and more nervous at the driving test.

scraped through the parkings.. then came the S course. that is 1 area that i never hit the curb before.. but this time.

not only it hit, but the back wheel went up the curb. immediate failure..

nvm le let me continue to go on outside..

still my breath was shaking.. he could even hear it..

point in time, crushing down.

2011-09-11T18:11:00.001+08:00

i think that there is this points in time, in life, where by life will come crushing down on you.

and may b year by year, this gets stronger and stronger and finally you die from it? possible?

Done?

2011-09-07T18:03:00.001+08:00

well, i guess im done with it already.. numb.. nothing felt anymore.

may b its alrite to search for something new now..

Ya forget to do sth?

2011-09-02T19:39:00.001+08:00

ya.. recently i forgot to do something..

that is to smile more often. =)

smile gw, smile =)

though its gonna get harder to smile frm the inside as yr age goes older,

jus remember to smile =)

Path

2011-08-25T21:46:00.001+08:00

ever wondered why i choose the path i took?

well, sometimes i myself wonders too.

the pros at the start might seem good. but along the way..

certain things start to change.

hm.. like today.. i choose to do as much as i can during a course today. and as a result? i was rather tired and my attitude towards other people was kinda different..

i guess my conscious mind and unconscious mind have rather different way of behaving..

and all those filtering or barriers emotionally i had just applied to the conscious mind..

and when i start to get tired and the unconscious mind kicks in, they seem to be lifted.. until im once again conscious..

if there anyway i can change that?

Trying to stop the mistake?

2011-08-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

i wanna stop the mistake i did.. but i dun know how..

and it seems like i can do nothing about it.

i dun dare to expect too much.. but im willing to do whatever i can for u..

i know that no 1 is perfect.. so am i.. i guess this is one of the areas i need help in.. to even start..

time is running out.. n i dun wan u to be out of my reach..

so many "I" above making me look so selfish.. but if thats wads capable of solving my mistake with u, i might just consider..

In?Tox?Ci?Ca?Tion?

2011-08-13T22:31:00.001+08:00

recently, i received this finger tab from a frnd and he asked me to file off certain portion of it for him.. at first i thought it would be kinda fast.. until i started filing..

omg.. it seems never ending.. i was filing for quite some time.. then only about 1 or 2 mm of thickness went off. i attempted to finish it in one day.. but then not so easy huh.. nvm. i continued again on national day.. and finished it. it was like wow. finally done. lol.. hm.. hopefully that filing off that portion can be of help to him. cos this is just an experiment after all. i tried on one finger tab. but the amount i filed off from that finger tab is different from the current one. the last one was lesser.

the user said he still kena scratch by the finger tab.. i wonder how this 1 will turn out..

ok next..

about that title.. may b ive been putting all those fake images into my mind so as to keep myself motivated and moving on.. though i know that those thoughts are not likely going to happen. no doubt that family support is strong, but those are stronger.. its like strong enough to keep me going through out the day..

and when i detatch myself from it, theres pain.. its kinda amazing how empty hope can give such strength.. but only to realise that all those are mere illusion.. all only what i think..

The strong fact will kick in some day.. thats when i come to know about that she has a bf and are going along very well and even going to get married some day.. well., sure thing i will fall.. from the pain when the loneliness strikes. depending on how much i am addicted to doing what im doing now.. just hope that i'll be strong enough to be standing up again and move on.. or, another alternative would be to find some one else to replace that addiction.

cos rite nw, it hurts to be reminded

In?Tox?Ci?Ca?Tion?

2011-08-12T14:26:00.001+08:00

recently, i received this finger tab from a frnd and he asked me to file off certain portion of it for him.. at first i thought it would be kinda fast.. until i started filing..

the user said he still kena scratch by the finger tab.. i wonder how this 1 will turn out..

ok next..

and when i detatch myself from it, theres pain.. its kinda amazing how empty hope can give such strength.. but only to realise that all those are mere illusion.. all only what i think..

Quote of the moment : " cos rite nw, it hurts to be reminded that i am alone "

31 JULY 2011 - a lill bit abt today

2011-07-31T21:03:00.001+08:00

its been some time since i posted any new posts..

shall tok a bit abt today..

b4 that.. ty JR fr the gift u bought fr me. =) *thought u probably would not see this*

today is da polite.. lets tok abt the winners 1st. today our sch won quite a few medals.. the "dragon lady" won like 2, CYT won 3, n still others who won medals for their individual n team .

today i reached there in da aftn.. then i was play wif da itouch.. n the AV system there was playing some song.. and suddenly came the song "would u hold it against me".. then out of a sudden she appeared.. n the song got stuck in my head =.=!!!.. zzz shall nt go into too much details..

hm.. next week.. i would b in camp.. on a sunday.. to do my duty.. oso, there r a few projects comin up ^^. one is to file the finger tab, the other, remove the screw from the riser..

hm.. but i gotta consider if i got the time to do it.. shud haf time ba.. i guess...

ok ima change my song to... mo li. a song by she. hope ya like it =)

So heres wad i wan..

2011-07-17T18:47:00.001+08:00

i wann... to stay alive.. n in order to achieve that, i gotta haf a goal. so my goal is 2 find a gal, settle down haf a few kids, then peaceful n stable life till me n my mate get old. that is also my dream. which is seemingly impossible.

I also wann.. to be single.. so that i can siam this communication problem i have when i meet or with the person i like.

i believe these 2 contradicts each other.. but yea....

if only i knew wad to do. but fr nw i'll stay like that n wait.. fr sth that i myself dun know..

8 JULY 2011 - silly?

2011-07-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

typing the link to your blog and clicking it when i know that there is unlikely to be any new posts.... i just wanna take a look and double check >.<

1 JULY 2011 - Sua la..

2011-07-01T20:04:00.001+08:00

i applied for a card a mth ago. according to a counter staff, it is supposed to arrive 1 mths time which is abt now..

and also.. cos of the optic fiber, some things happened to my house.. hm..

i shall nt comment too much ba.. what has been done has already happened and whining doesnt solve any of the problems but may create more problems too.

26 JUNE 2011 - something new?

2011-06-26T21:49:00.001+08:00

ever since some lessons started, my weekend life started to change.. i shud say its quite a big change ba. the timing has been different. and activities were sorta one after another.

this felt like its kinda draining on me.. am kinda tired.. i tried to go for all the stuff that were lined up. but it seems like i was kinda tired after all that.

and this has taught me something new ba i suppose or id i know it last time but forgotten it already..

a step closer to my friends is a step further from my family..

tipping to any side n i will lose balance and lose one side..

so i guess the trick is to maintain the balance ba.

and if only.. i could control my fatigue better..

20 JUNE 2011 - a choice that might just affect the immediate future.

2011-06-20T19:52:00.001+08:00

today, i am presented with a difficult situation. firstly i went for an appointment. then the person i was meeting told me that i was fit for training again. i was rather happy at first. but then later came a fact that according to my records, i am down graded to the lowest grade of all the physical grades due to my previous injury. but thats for temp only.

so now there is this memo. sayign that i am fit for training. and now the problem is should it be shown to the person who downgraded me? cos if i did, theres a chance that my downgrade will be lifted and i will join the next batch of people for training. And if i dont show the memo, isit considered as an offence? According to the person who gave me the memo, i do not have to go back and see her anymore. unless really required then i will have to make an appointment.

hm.. this is a difficult choice indeed. besides the pros and cons i mentioned jus nw, i also have a plan that is on going. by which if my downgrading is lifted and i am back into training, there is a chance that it will be affecting the plan i have. probably due to time issues.

but i think for now, for now la.. i think i should show the memo.

20 JUNE 2011 - a day out

2011-06-20T00:44:00.001+08:00

it has been some time.. or have i never done it before.. outside for the whole day consecutively for 2 days.

but anway today, i met up with a few frnds n her to went to watch movie. before they reach the theatre, i was there alone.. then a lot of thoughts flowed thru my mind.. not important.. the impt thing is, some how i can fell her there. like she is close. ytd also the same. i had this feeling that she was close but then i thought i would not be possible until i saw her myself.

i dun know if i should say this but,

i kinda like the feeling when i was with her. it felt like everything was alrite. there was nothing to be worrying about. even though i know that i would be going home late but i felt that it was ok. i just like the feeling when i was with her. then when she left, the feeling slowly went away. and it went to become like before again.

i'd like to go out with her more often ^^ i wanna get that feeling again. though i still cannot find any topic to start a conversation with her or look into her eyes longer than 3 secs. but the timing i think got improve. now can a bit longer liao. ^^ am i am pretty happy about it. jus nw wanted to use some initiative to go play the same machine as her but then.. lol.. u know la i am starting to come out with excuses again. might wana improve on that.

12 JUNE 2011 - give n expect nothing in return.

2011-06-12T18:22:00.001+08:00

since my life is rather peaceful nw i think its a good time to be stocking up good karmas. giving out n help ppl. like wad my life was meant to be. my purpose in life ^^ its gonna b tiring, but well, my life was not easy in the first place.

give and expect nothing in return. ^^

11 JUNE 2011 - New song~

2011-06-11T17:08:00.003+08:00

i just changed the song for my blog.. to Secrets by one republic. the link for the lyrics is at the side. same place. the music is kinda soft though. so u might wanna turn up the vol a bit if u wana hear it.

i made this new glove recently. it only covers the impt areas where the release aid come in contact with my hand. The purpose for the glove initially is to absorb sweat from my hand. so well, those areas are enough for me leaving my fingers all uncovered..

i tried it out today.. it seems to be working well. now for the test of washing. i shall wait till tml to see the results.

o yea today i saw the freshies shooting.. every year sorta the same thing ba.. got ppl wanna shoot n some just playing around. then when i attempt to correct them of cos it doesnt work. like always. hahaha may b is my method of teaching them ba. May b other ppl teach the situation will b different ba. then the bac stuff not really prepared as usual. things are still sorta out of place. well, over time, i hope things will change, though it does not always happen.

Quote : "Could it be that i am too strong for my own good, yet i am not strong enough."

6 JUNE 2011 - Story Cont'd & a letter.. to..

2011-06-06T20:04:00.001+08:00

now to continue with the story from the last post.. i was on this mrt.. then it reached i forgot wad station, there was a lot of ppl coming in. There was also this gal that came in also. cos the train was rather cramp, we were standing close. real close. so close that i could feel the warmth of her arm on mine. That was quite a feeling. i didnt know wad to do. so i just stood there. she also didnt move away. which she could, then it lasted for quite some time. until we reached city hall which i had to alight and she boarded another train.

ok.. next i wanna write a letter.. to who? to my heart..

Dear heart,

i know what u r trying to get.. but its not that i dont want it, but u also know the reason why. so sometimes when shes around then u start flashing all those thoughts in my head, it sorta throws me off. and at times when u r lonely, i know it well too. but try to control the number of times that you keep thinking of her. you know i trying to forget this rite.. cos i have no way to make it happen. so might as well forget about it and take it that it never happened in the first place. i believe that now what i can do is to trust in my instincts about this matter lo. which is to wait.. so kindly control yourself and i will appreciate it. many thanks =) and if possible, do forget about her too k? cos everytime evertime u think about her, it kinda hurts me too to remind myself of how little i can do about it.

yours sincerely, gw

30 MAY 2011 - Aiyo..

2011-05-30T19:02:00.001+08:00

ok heres an interesting thing that happened yesterday.. i was taking the MRT.. then as we were squeezing, there was this gal that came in. unknowingly, aye.. gotta go ctch sth le.. shall cont this another day.. zzz.

28 MAY 2011 - a day out @ archery training..

2011-05-28T19:01:00.001+08:00

today i sorta forgot my form during the start of my day..

I happen to have a written copy of my form in the lill hand book in my quiver so i took it out and had a look. practice a lill and O.o

i manage to find some consistency back ^^ nice.. now is to continue on the endurance training then when the rest arrives, hopefully it can fit. then the arrows might just behave properly.

its been quite some time since i last trained for so long.. a whole day from morning till evening.. then come home for dinner..

and i oso had a lill fun of blowing my whistle today.. lol though quite cui. this is the 2nd time im using the whistle.. and the first attempt to blow it failed resulting in a lao hong pitch. hahaha. may b cos i nvr cover it with my lips and i bite it instead. if not the whistle is loud n clear de lor.

i shall find more chance to use that whistle during archery more often. haha.. thats all for now ^^ i got a interesting project coming up. provided i got enough resources to do them. lol

i shall post more info when i manage to get the materials. =)

21 MAY 2011 - Casuality; Injury; Dream documentation.

2011-05-21T20:25:00.001+08:00

not a easy day today..

this morning went for archery and the feeling felt weird.. wasnt able to shoot consistent enough to save my own arrows. resulting in 3 casualties.. then finally, it sorta recovered back in the afternoon.

o yea on top of that, i thought my order for the arrow rest had been placed. when in the end i found out he was using debit card so he did place any order cos he had no $$. may b not used to the new rest ba.. then go play @ 50M since the 18M they used for training for a up coming competition.

just when i though it was over in the afternoon, i tripped and fell and got my left palm and right elbow hurt.. skin tore off.. got a bit of blood come out but blood was oso visible on the wound also. hope it will recover soon =) lucky i was wearing track pants.. if nt my knees also bleeding already. now is a lill braised

I had a dream on thursday.. saying about wad what i did before is not going to work good enough then an accident happened. and i woke up from it..

i suppose the not going to work part was referring to an attempt where i tried to use epoxy to take out an stuck screw from a riser? then the accident referred to the arrows n injury? i think the injury was unnecessary as if i didnt chase the bus, i would not have injured myself and i was not in a hurry of time.. hm..

may b they were linked in this way or they r not linked at all.. hu knoes.. well, life still has to continue.. thats all for now ^^

18 MAY 2011 - another documentation of a dream

2011-05-18T19:54:00.001+08:00

this time, the dream was about applying for some kinda job.. then i was applying this job together with my friends at a shopping centr. same thing, never went to that shopping center b4. in the end, i knew the results of who got the job and who didnt.. but i still waited for the results to be anounced one by one.. and of cos, i didnt get it..

dream end.. hm.. another weird dream huh.. i suppose the message in the dream was that i went on to do something even though i know it will not work out in the end?

o yea btw im posting this from a library.. lol.. making a post in public.. 1st time.. ok got to go already. im planning to go sum whr else.. haha

17 MAY 2011 - Paul, buffet

2011-05-17T22:19:00.001+08:00

today i went to watch this movie called paul.. not bad.. quite funny. the conversation.. not a lot of action though but the show was overall kinda nice.

then after which at the evening went to this steam boat buffet.. then i encountered this awkward and weird feeling.. when she came.. dun know how to say leh.. but id like to fix that... like treating her like other friends?

i could use suggestions.. i trying to find out how to solve it.. but then cant realli find the solution.. dun know to start from where leh.. but thats definitely one thing that i'd like to fix it up. i think compare to last time got improvement le ba.. but the problem is still there leh.. i quite sure that i would not be able to look into her eyes for anything longer than 3 secs. but with other ppl, it could easily be done.. hm.. may b thats something i could ponder on... on how to solve it..

and the steamboat.. not bad.. i think it was better than the other one that we went last time.. one down point i would say is the soup base.. the flavor is not here n not there.. but its fish is nice ^^. better than the other one..

theres some other movies i wanna watch if possible.. 1st.. Fast n Furious 5; Thor; X-men First class; Transformers Dark Moon; Pirates of the Caribbean on stranger tides; Kung fu panda 2.

thats quite a lot huh.. haha..

15 MAY 2011 - There goes the arrow rest

2011-05-15T16:18:00.001+08:00

looks like some of the last option is now gone.. the plastic rest is not supposed to be used together with a release aid. reason being that the arrow flex in a different direction.. causing to wear off in a faster speed than it should.

and now i have changed the arrow rest ever since the metal one broke, i changed to a plastic one.. then it slowly wore off.. and so i changed it again with another one that is in the club bow before it became unusable. that old one is still usable though. or wait.. did i change it?

nvm la just take it that i did change it. then cut it again hopefully it will last longer this time.. but hu knoes it turned out that it wear off even faster.... which is now the current state. the arrow could no longer stay on the arrow rest without falling off on its own.. well, unless theres a new rest, i cant shoot anymore with my bow..

today, i felt a bit ambitious.. wanting to buy a 85% dark chocolate to try it out. so i did.. took it out from the packing.. WHOA. strong chocolate scent. very nice smelling. put the piece in my mouth.. ok... chocolate.. a lill sweet... taste comin out.. chocolate aroma oozing from the mouth.. then came the chorus. BITTER~! which lasted for quite long..

i felt a lill regretted cos didnt really like the bitter part.. then then after the whole thing melted and was gone, i felt like having it again..

o ya n yesterday.. i think i saw her walking past.. as i went out of the bus when going archery, i saw this gal that looked a lot like her.. i think its her.. the face look like leh.. but then she was wearing shorts.. and the hair was slightly below shoulder level. and the hair texture.. like hers leh.. dun know la.. dun any how guess would be a better option i think.

14 MAY 2011 - A Dream

2011-05-14T07:17:00.000+08:00

this morning i just had a dream. i saw myself dancing with this girl.. i never seen her b4 nor do i know how to dance..

then i later see us hugging together.. same i never hug a gal b4 n i do not know the feeling but somehow i can feel it.

then we were lying on a bed. kinda big. about queen sized with retro, checked prints on it. and we were talking about money and family having to choose one... and i choose family... then the dream ended and i was awake..

that whole thing happened in a big house that ive never been b4 and it has a interesting interior design thats all made of wood.

i wonder if it is trying to tell me anything.. but anyway, im just documenting it down.. in case i forget?

9 MAY 2011 - Hot Weather~~~

2011-05-09T14:20:00.001+08:00

the weather recently is getting hotter and hotter..

like another round of the heat waves from last time. the thermometer on my table clock shows a 32 degrees.. XD last time it was 31. lol

awww.. and the thermometer i attatched externally onto my com has gone cranky also. i think its time to change one.. into a glass thermometer.. at least that 1 wont spoil. *i hope*

now now.. i saw this thing online called the credit card flower box. its a form of fridge magnet..

looks rather interesting to make. i got some old phone cards.. may b i could use them =)

mod a bit, pour some soil in it, put in a fake plant, pour some liquid epoxy mix over it, and let it dry. i should act like a plastic cover to prevent any soil from dropping out. then paste a magnet at the back and stick it onto a fridge or just put it on a table as it is =)

then i also read this book about cooking.. the book was main on dishes for stir fry.

i saw this toufu and crab meat. looks rather simple and i wanted to try it.. but then the proportion.. 1 person serving? the one stated on the recepie was for 2. nvm la can try it some other time..

together with some other recipes i copied probably..

this morning.. i went to this beach at punggol with my father.. its still under development, but i think it would turn out not bad.. only if i had a bike.. then i can ride along the Park connector.. probably going from place to place in Singapore.

the beach is rather nice.. got water lilly ponds @ the entrance, got a harbor for boats, and can do fishing there. deep waters. just that there isnt really any shelter.. so not really any shade from sun or shelter for rain. may b is cos havent develop finish yet ba.

1 MAY 2011 - Labour day

2011-05-01T14:21:00.001+08:00

on this labour day, i done 1 important thing. repaid my education loans.

quite a number of zeroes i spent on this. now i am broke already. no more $$

but the good thing is that no interest will be rolling when i start my uni which is after my army.

*yay*

now regarding archery.. i was thinking of may b buy a arrow rest. a compound 1 to use for my recurve bow. since the current 1 is going to spoil le. and the piece of rubber i used to put in my riser to absorb vibration.. now its like spoil le. then last week i threw it away and shot with it. ended up my stabilizer came loose after 50 shots? nvm. i bought a new piece of rubber to replace it. this 1 seem to be better in absorbing vibration wo. O.o

anyway, shall know the next time i shoot ba.

i wanna bring my light stick + kite then bring to some windy plot of land and fly kite there. just that dun know when can.

o yea then ytd was archery orientation. i have an estimate that... after half a year only like 10 will be left? ok may b not so bad. give it a close to 20.

and i saw an archer with a RCX 100 riser.. fanciful riser.. very light weight. and full carbon. wonder how it will perform under the sun in nyp.. lol

k la thats all fr nw ^^ happy labour day ppl!

elections next week!

24 APRIL 2011 - Changed music

2011-04-24T21:24:00.001+08:00

alrite, changed the music to a less of a emo 1. i think i used this music here b4.. but nvm.

Title is Ai Shang Ni. details at the music box

24 APRIL 2011 - about my blog

2011-04-24T18:18:00.001+08:00

jus nw i went into my own blog and had a look. then the music started playing and i see which was my previous post.

then i realised its dam emo... in conjunction with the music playing in the background.

i could use some change of music.. i shall change it the next time a good song comes to my mind.

22 APRIL 2011 - Good Friday

2011-04-22T09:29:00.001+08:00

Happy good friday ^^

well, was reminded once again of this : If its a smooth start, then its not the correct path that i will end up with.

But if its a rocky beginning, thats probably the path that is for me.

enjoy your good friday ppl ^^

i had this craving for the Kit Kat chunky recently.. i think i shall push it to a later date.. too much unhealthy stuff might result in sore throat?

or may b nvm.. drink more water to compensate? LOL

17 APRIL 2011 - Finger tab.

2011-04-17T15:06:00.001+08:00

with short time outside as a civilian.. sometimes i just feel kinda stuck and dun know wad to do..

with the time element keep kicking in.. it just feels like stuck there..

and in another few hrs time ima get going in.

btw, i took a attempt to modify a finger tab. and lucky enough to have a expensive 1 to "operate" on. It turned out rather not bad. but took a bit of time though. cos the amount of metal that was about to be removed is not a lot. so i filed the whole thing. until that chunk was gone. =)

16 APRIL 2011 - Thai Restaurant

2011-04-16T23:11:00.001+08:00

today i tried things out a new way..

lets see.. morning wke up i didnt do to archery straight away. instead, i was doing other things at home.. then until the clock reached 9 then i left the house. reached there, they r still doing warm up. so i suppose thats about the time.

then i shot for a couple of rounds, and my hands started shaking.. o my.. am i getting weaker? or am i not used to the weight? but i think its still within control but as i continued longer, i realized a inconsistency in my form. so i suppose its time i brush up on the endurance part? it seems to be dropping..

then at the later part of the day, i guided a friend onto tuning her own bow. well, it looks rather new.. so i predicted that it was the first few times that she was using that riser. anyway, like all the first times, its not a guarantee that it will b done right. What i could do was just to give advice on how to do it lo.. instead of doing it for her.. then hopefully she can finish the tuning. nothing too difficult to understand, just a bit lay chay only. haha.

then came the night.. my parents and i went to this thai... i should say shop ba. since its a shop along the walk way sum where around kovan. First time go there so dun know wad to order.. so we looked at what other ppl order and consider.. saw some common dishes.. like fish in thai chilli sauce, curry, and iced tea. in the end, we didnt know wad to order.. so we ordered.. Pineapple fried rice, Fish in Sweet N Sour Sauce, Green Curry, Tom yam soup with coconut milk *theres another name for it just that i forgot* and Photai Noodles *fried noodles basically*.

An interesting result.. our table was rather different from the rest. LOL. Other ppl's table was red, red and a bit of yellow *from fried fish*. but ours was rather colorful. Yellow, White, Green and brown. hahahahhaaha. Nevermind about that, the food was not bad actually. just quite a bit spicy. my mother wanted the fish in thai chilli sauce. but ours was sweet n sour sauce. then she keep glancing to other tables that had that. k la my bad la. didnt select the correct thing. next time go then try that 1.

ah.. look at the time now.. i think i am supposed to be studying for a test now.. the test is going to be happening next week. and the count down.. to go back to camp..

side track a bit..

se ji shi kong.. kong ji shi se.. how many times do i have to repeat to understand that...

Quote of the moment : "All i wanna do is just to forget certain part about one person.. But it just seems like an impossible task to do.."

15 APRIL 2011 - Move on, re-organise

2011-04-15T23:46:00.001+08:00

well, today is the day where i went for my appointment to see the result of my bone scan. this should have been done some time ago. However, because that date is the first day of my reporting to my new unit, i changed it to a later date. According to the doctor, the diagnosis was a stress fracture.

What is stress fracture exactly? i went to some online sources and asked the doctor to conclude that it is fracture of the bones in the leg due to over straining / over using of the leg muscle resulting it to cause a fracture on the nearby bones.

So how does this affect me? basically i would be excused from running or jumping. Things that require me to exert much strength with my leg. and hopefully it will heal up in approx 2 months time.

hmm. i also sorta realize that my mental is kinda weak. esp when i am hungry. lol tend to get kinda emo.. but still, everything is still within control.

that time me and my friend was talking about his relationships.. and i came to realize that mine is actually rather empty. others had interesting things in them. for example he did certain crazy things for the girl she liked and there were quite a bit of things occuring around him con-currently. nvm put this aside ba.. i dun think i have the luxury of getting into anything like that any time close.

anyway, moving on, theres more home work that just awaits me for me to go and do it. they just keeps coming. only to be getting more and tougher each time. but its okay. i shall re-organize my schedule a bit to settle all that.like going to archery at a later timing? then morning i could use it to do other things instead of sitting outside the store while waiting for them to come and open the store.

Lots of challenges are ahead of me. same thing, i don't think it will be any easy. Its going to be difficult ad i gotta stay strong. physically and mentally.

Quote of the moment : "Its only when you feel pain then u can understand what is comfort."

3 APRIL 2011 - back to camp

2011-04-03T18:02:00.001+08:00

ahhh... chiong chiong chiong all that studyin and now going bak to camp liao...

hai... but nvm at least my desktop is back on and running.

2 APRIL 2011 - Sat night

2011-04-02T23:30:00.001+08:00

in this saturday night... lets tok about today..

according to my plan, today i am very busy. and indeed, i was rather "busy"

morning woke up and went for archery.. its been a long time since i had the chance to go there. like SCS, where i had training very saturday morning then i cannot go liao cos by the time i reach there, they are already going home. i might as well go home.

today saw some ppl that i havent seen in some time. good to see that they r good. =)

and lent my limbs that were so durable to someone for him to try out a higher poundage. then he took out my rubber on the limbs.. cos he claim that they were hindering with his results. ahahahahahha.. nvm take out take out lo. i can always try out other new stuff again. damping experiments never ends.. until i can achieve such a result thats good enough to make my hand feel Max 10 to 20% of the vibration that is being released at the point of firing. which i think is rather ambitious to have that kinda target.

then rite after i went home, from the middle of archery training, i found that the software i wrote to capture images, crashed during operation. i think is due to a change of codes since i modified it in the morning before i start it. it was good enough to serve the purpose. but i was thinking if there is any way to make the video response faster. i should not have changed the codes. cos now one of the files in my hard disk is corrupted and i gotta find a way to fix it. if not the com cannot start up.

also, there was a plan to go to bottle tree park for dinner. there was a little change in plans. so we had dinner at home first then went to the park. after riding in the MRT and seen that place so many times, today was the first time that i actually went in a take a look around. And there was pain ball.... *idea* but i cant find the "range" may b cos ts closed at nite and its kinda deep into the park.

b4 we went to the park.. i did a bit of home work.. then after we came back.. continue homework.. then tml also continue homework.. army also got homework. hahaha.

o yea sth interesting today... sum 1 craked a joke abt getting married soon. I was rather chua tio. if really know some one of my age actually getting married, i think it would be.. ahh i think i better stop here.

thats all =) c ya..

26 MARCH 2011 - Without Internet

2011-03-26T18:08:00.001+08:00

Back to a few months back where i did not have any internet access while i was in camp.

so now i could only like.. post once a week?

so many things to do yet so little time i shall say..

still got stuff to study for.. it feels like uni have already started. new things introduced yet i got little resources to help me undertsand certain terminolagies inside there. i think thats perhaps its because there is no internet ba..

recently over the past week, quit a few things have been happening around my house.. again another case of theft and the thief just act blur as always when it is so obvious that she is the one that is doing it. but we cant do much about it cos 1) we do not have any evidence. 2) if she is taken away by the police then my granny will have no one to look after her.

so i thought may be can do a little something to help ease the situation for now.. so just now my mother and i went to look for some safe deposit boxes. found 1. its the traditional pattern where u have to turn the knob to match the combination to open the door. hopefully it helps for now.

ever since the theft started, the amount was getting bigger and bigger each time. i think may be next time i can do something about it and not let her just keep taking the money. if only i have some evidence and i could hand her over to the police.

then next... somehow the specialist i went to see some time back called me and said i missed the appointment where if i remember correctly, i re arranged the appointment to 15 of april. then last week they called my house after failing to reach me through my hp saying that i missed the appointment.. and the doctor there said she wanted to see me. i wonder what happened to my leg.

15 MARCH 2011 - New Unit~

2011-03-15T10:24:00.001+08:00

tml.. morning i will be booking in already..

even though these few days i had a break of 6 days, it felt rather long and not so long at the same time..

and now i am at home thinking of wad to do..

probably lata go to arcade? or go library?

o yea.. since i have the resources now,, may b i shall make a guard for my toes so that when wearing boots, it wont hurt when walking..

or may b i jus nid some substitute skin to tank the damange on the toes.. cos a guard will take up space.. and i dun think theres a lot of space for that in my boots...

then recently, over the last few weeks, learned something new.. i learned how to tie a net. use for wad u may ask..

probably can make own net to hold stuff, or make a big scale one to become a bed.

knots can actually be rather intereasting de wo O.o

different kinds of knots will behave differently. like for example the sheet bend. used for tieing nets.

it is a rather easy way to tie 2 pieces of string together. this works for strings that are of differnt thickness too.

and it is rather easy to untie too. But. depending on the type of string used. those that are slippery tends to loosen up itself. unless there is constant tension.

ok la dun explain too much lata ppl will find it boring..

last thing.. i've changed the song on my blog.. to this new song called talking to the moon by bruno mars. =) u can find its lyrics at my web site. the link is at the right side of my blog..

12 MARCH 2011 - Post 28

2011-03-12T21:53:00.001+08:00

Rite.. this will be a post about my 28 km..

according to the "plan" we were stopping every 4 km.. but apprently, thats not the case. like always..

anyway.. the toughest part of the 28 was the 14 - 20 km then a couple of mins after 20km until 24km

that portion felt dam tiring sia.. leg pain, back ache, whole body also aching..

and my pace got slower.. and slowly stranded behind.. but got back and caught up in the end.. except for the 20 to 24km my other mates were sorta waiting for me at the "checkpoint" since they reach before me.

and heres another impt point i wanna mention.. haha.. part of the route was the place where i got chased by the dogs.. along sungi bulogh~! ahh brings back some memories.. where i almost got bitten =.=!!! and still, that place is filled with dog barking inside their respective plots of land owned by different ppl.

o yea.. and i saw this bistro.. in the midst of that ulu stretch of road.. looks nice though.. it sayd was nature inspired bistro.. it just makes ppl wonder if that place has business.

and after the march.. there was the graduation parade. could see that a lot of ppl slept during hte wait for the parade to start.. and i was one of those that KOed too.. hahaha

then after the parade, i got my posting.. i got posted to some camp in Chua chu kang..

wonder wad i will be doing in there.. then my appoint back at Jurong Medical Centre... also lands on the same date as the first day of reporting. so i think i might wanna change that date..

and now... finally... i got my OERO DOUBLESTUFF.. after like dun know how many weeks unable to eat it due to scared of sorethroat, no time and NO STOCK.

shall "ration" it.. dun eat too much at one time if not will kena sore throat..

then recently i got this urge to spend money to buy that 200 buck scope.. so i went down to that shop and took a look at the real thing.. dam big.. kinda nice.. but i didnt buy.. cos when i come to think of it again after seeing the real thing, i dun really think i will be able to use it.. so dont buy ba..

and zzz.. been thinking too much recently.. suddenly, just all of a sudden, she just pops out in my head.. as though i was thinking of her... and i thought i have already put down and forgotten about it.. since certain thing its not possible anyways.. and i should have put it down already..

6 MARCH 2011 - 28KM

2011-03-06T18:14:00.001+08:00

next week will be my last week, (hopefully) of my first phase of training..

and to round it off, it will be like my BMT, a route march.. this time, just that it will be a longer route.. 28.. my last one was ony 16.. i missed the intended 24 because i was having fever..

so now the jump would b 12km increase?

so if there is a stop point very 4km, i would have to stop like... 7 times?

quite a big number though..

with the condition of my leg, i am rather worried.. and also my shoulder.. im woried about it too.. every route march.. it would hurt.. like many other people..

i shall just do what i can.. shall see how again after the route march..

o yea and my domestic helper.. i dun know if this 1 is true, but there was a loss of 100 over dollars..

it might be a misplacement of the money.. or it might be another stealing case from her...

like everytime, one tide yet down, another rises..

theres no running away.. and i dun intend to run anyway... just facing it as it comes..

its difficult, its painful and its true..

28 FEBRUARY 2011 - Low~

2011-02-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

dam low.. morale at the low side.. dun know y.. just feeling dam sian..

just feel low lor.. like theres nothing for me to look foward to.. any upcoming test regarding physical just means another chance that i will b going for another few more rounds..

probably i might need a direction to follow ba,..

ever since i came into here, my direction in life seems to be gone.. though i know what i want, but i just lost the feeling of it..

things just seems pointless..

o yea.. i think i have became fatter over the past few weeks.. haha

quite a lot of times where we were just eating

i suppopse i could change that habit ba...

ZzZzZzZ rite now dam tired liao i think i go to sleep le ba.'. good luck for tomorrows IOC =) good nite.

26 FEBRUARY 2011 - "key" project after research

2011-02-26T16:10:00.001+08:00

heres a lill info after research..

The pellet form is about the same price as the epoxy.. it is easily meltable under temperature above 60 Celsius. this means exposure of it to sun will cause it to deform.

as a result, i think the epoxy is better...

26 FEBRUARY 2011 - The "key" project

2011-02-26T14:49:00.001+08:00

i bought this lock from my camp..

its quite a nice lock.. but the key.. its starting to rust.. i think may b its because of the exposure to sweat.. my sweat since i am wearing it all the time..

so, i thought of making a plastic key.. so it wont rust.. then i went to art friend.. in search of the materials.. i wanted to buy raw plastic to melt it then mould it.. but they dont have it..

so they recomend another product that has the same effect. its called epoxy something.. the end product is a plastic.. hardened. looks like a workable idea.. since no nid to heat it up.. but the cost.. 23 dollarz.. thats rather expensive..

but its a big bottle though.. so may b not that bad.. perhaps i might wanna try and find alternatives online then if cant find then i go buy..

btw.. i went to the mint shop and ask hw much isit to duplicate that key.. 16 was the price.. O.o i bought the lock for 4 dollarz and the cost to duplicate the key is 4 times the lock?!??!?!! may b i could top up a lill more money and try to make a plastic key..

o yea next thing.. portable phone charger.. last time its an orange color thing that uses a tripple A battery.. now its different.. its sth like a USB power source.. u put 2 X AA batt inside.. u plug the usb cable into it and connect it into your phone and it starts charging..

i thought that might be usefull.. then again it cost 17 dollarz..

thing r Gettin ExpensiveZ~~~

25 FEBRUARY 2011 - one yet to be solved, another was discovered..

2011-02-25T23:31:00.001+08:00

previously the leg problem is still hanging on there..

now after one night, i discovered i also have gastric..

i thought i was taking care of my stomach.. so now apprently the case isnt so..

during a certain activity.. there was supposed to be meal that was to be provided for us.. then it somehow did not turn up.. no explanation was given either.. so i had to eat the wadever remaining food i had left.. not much though..

then a one or 2 hours lata.. the stomach.. somewhere in the lower area.. starts to hurt.. its like the stomach grumbling.. then can feel some pain along with it..

so now i have gastric problems.. o yea and my leg.. so far it seems that the bones r okay.. but investigations r still going on.. trying to find the root of the problem..

hai.. not even the stomach spoiling.. i suppose i could find a way to make my stomach healthier..

recently.. i found this very intereasting thing to do.. to have meal and walk around a shopping mall at the same time.... its like a 2 in 1.. bought some bread, then walk around the mall slowly while eating it.. then the food can buy a few different variety.. but i wonder it this will affect the digestion.. i did that a few times le... it seems that if i dun eat too full, it feels alright...

ok thats all for now.. gotta go sleep liao..

just a last phrase...

"As a italian, u know it is a sin to call these spaghetti.. these are army noodles with tomato sauce.." haha some how i can relate this..

22 FEBRUARY 2011 - Further analysis of problem

2011-02-22T21:16:00.001+08:00

a date is now scheduled for me.. to find out what is really wrong with my leg.

its been quite a while already.. and the pain is still there.. i suppose i gotta find out whats the problem before it becomes something permanent

but then again.. another problem arises.. i am towards the end of course..

i am only 2 weeks before i go to my "graduation parade"

dun know la.. but my instinct tell me to stay with this decision..

and i suppose its the right thing to do for now..

no doubt theres a lot of things that might result as a chain effect, i dun think i should dwell too much on it..

not that i keep dwelling on it then they will go away.. might as well just be prepared and just face it.

just be mentally prepared.

o yea.. and her results.. i think it was out a few days ago.. and i know she itsnt very confident about it.. now that the result is out, i dun think its anything very bad.. she will make it de.. i dun know how she does it, shes just provin it time and time again.. haha.

*claps*

18 FEBRUARY 2011 - Combo.. decision making

2011-02-18T23:24:00.001+08:00

i dun know wad happened, but i am getting some injuries recently.. one after another.. no time to really recover..

and my money is kinda flowing out..

let stok about the injury first ba.,. leg pain first.. arnd the calf area.. i think i jump until it hurts... then sometimes it just gets as serious as not being able to walk properly. and before this could get anymore worse, an eye abrasion came in.. then somehow the leg pain subsided.. may b i was too concerned with the eye to feel the pain in the leg ba..

and soon after the eye was about to recover.. i got heat rash.. rather painful.. then in the midst of heat rash, there was this heat exhaustion that comes in between the heat rash.,... both taking turn to happen..

and now thats slowly recovering, the leg pain is coming back... happening faster and more painful than last time.. so i suppose the next one would be the leg..

yea its painful in the leg.. but if i keep pushin it, it does move on. but then the pain is getting more and more.. so buring certain activities that i am required to move fast or jump high, i might just put my leg in a dangerous position.. and if i dun do it, high chance i will drag my team down.. so this is still between me and my team mates.. which one do i give priority.and i know that if i keep pushing, the injury might be permanent.. tough decision heh,,,

ok now comes to $$.. every timw we go out to do something.. resources is of cos needed.. like zip locks, and gloves.. yea.. in a recent event, i bought a 9 dollarz leather gloves.. i wanted to try it out.. but then along the process, one of the glove's finger's thread broke and as a result, there a small hole down there.. on top of that, when i was transported from one place to another, i took out one of the sides while i was resting.. then when i woke up and move off, i forgot to take the side that i took out earlier on.. as a result, i only had half.. so i threw the half away.. but hu knoes.. the other side of my glove was later recovered.. but well, i thew onw side away.. now i got the other side... i still only have one.. might as well throw both away and buy a new one..

those gloves were kinda nice.. comfort and protection.. just that it sorta traps the heat in the hand.. so the body got one place lesser to disperse off the heat.. i guess. .

o yea my recent records are showing that i am spending quite a lot more than last time i did in poly.. lol.. not areally good sign huh..

i guess i could work on that...may b spend less on food? cos a certain portion goes to food. how much of it i am not sure.. got to calculate..

okay. thats all for now.. ^^

8 February 2011 - An attempt that failed.

2011-02-08T18:46:00.001+08:00

its kinda late right now.. and i am supposed to be sleeping.. but i am still here writing this post..

2 days later.. or should i say 1 day.. Wed will be another IPPT test that i have in SCS. the last 1 might already be the last IPPT that they will be taking for this year.. but for me, i failed.. this means i have to minimum get a pass to graduate from this current course i am taking.. then a silver for me to be able to book out on fridays...

during the last test.. i failed because of my atanding board jump. that station of mine failed. so never mind, i can go train up.. then probably i will pass the next time.. so ok i went to train up a little bit. until the last last week. the one that i had mt first extra training.. and before the "actual training" started, we were doing some trainings provided by the in charge that day. and then the day before.. i was doing my own training.. according to the IPPT training guide.. they provided us.

as a result? i think my left calf muscle got injured.. everytime i run, it will cramp real fast.. and the muscle inside will feel pain. i suppose that is a sign of over strain. until now, the same problem remains...my calf still cramps real fast and will feel pain when it cramps.

the ippt test is just a few days away.. i dun think my muscle can recover that fast... recovery for my body is usually longer than normal people. So what if this time round i fail 3 stations? standing broad jump, shuttle run and 2.4 run?

My main point is not really about how many stations that i hsve failed. but instead, it is about my future.. there is a chance that i will be doing recourse. and its quite a high chance.. then if that is so, everything that i will be doing after that ippt test will be more or less useless. then what am i doing here? wasting my time? or am i doing meaningless things?

i dun mind being posted to other places to become a men or something.. i just want to go to a place where i will be stable. cos i still want to disrupt my ns for my uni.. then if i stay here, how am i going to get disrupted?

well, the people always say push on.. i will do what i can.. but there is also a limitation on my body.. and i suppose fitness is not something that i can exploit unlike a lot of other people who can..

i suppose i will still hang on to what i believe in ba.. i will do.. as long as i dont get permanant injury at the end of the day. Because of one simple reason. my life doesnt end here. moreover, i have a dream to fufill. i cant just stop here.

and sometimes i just have to remind myself of this.. so that when i am feeling helpless, i can stand up again and continue..

05 FEBRUARY 2011 - CNY; Physical

2011-02-05T22:55:00.001+08:00

Happy new year.

first thing i wanna wish 1st. when though now is the 3rd day of new year?

went around from house to house as usual collecting ang baos. But this time, we went at a slightly later timing.. so there a little bit of change. one of our relative wasnt at home. so we skipped his house.

i did an interesting survey this year. trying out kueh bahulu. The one that my mother bought was a mini version. same in the usual container, but the cakes are smaller. bite size. it feels different. Though it is harder, but it is more "crispy" and u can feel the baked taste better. where as bigger pieces tasted more like cake. of cos there was only one or 2 that tasted different. the rest was the usual stuff.

my personal preference? the mini version. u can keep biting and biting and u wont feel that chunk of cake in your mouth.

Also there was pineapple tarts.. this 1 i didnt try that much.. but there was 2 different types. one is with the pineapple filling outside, the other is the pineapple filling inside. The 1 with the filling outside was sweeter. but the 1 with the filling inside had more taste.

now about my physical.. no doubt this 2 days was for enjoyment, but this morning i went for a run.. and this 2 days.. i have been over eating.. eating for almost the whole day.. then when i ran this morning, the results were drastic..

my fitness obviously dropped. and there was something wrong with my blood. as though it lost its balance inside. like last time. i could not get enough oxygen to my brain to run properly.. also, i am breathing the wrong way.. i was exhausted at a way fast timing.. no good. then my leg was like cramping kinda fast.

I guess i should watch more on my eating..

my fitness is like water in a bucket with holes. no matter how much i fill it, it slips away. Fast. Sometimes i envy those ppl. no nid to train as much, can keep on slacking, and their fitness is way better than me. well, no point dwelling too much on it though. end of the day its my own body that i am living in. not theirs.

OKAY.. now for something new.. i wanna try to put all my pictures onto my web site.. all preview at once.. in a click of a button. all big big pictures. lets try it out then see how it goes..

31 JANUARY 2011 - Happy Birthday To You~

2011-01-31T22:12:00.001+08:00

today she celebrated her 21st birthday.

unfortunately, i wasnt able to be there. but still, happy 21st ^^

i wish u enjoy your bday celebration and enjoy your adulthood. for u are 21. the peak of your life. live it to the fullest. everyday. smile. even when u r down =)

29 JANUARY 2011 - Sports day, being a leader

2011-01-29T07:51:00.001+08:00

well, today is the sports day. of where i am now. the sports day is about to be starting soon. but why am i here writing a post? cos im one of the choosen ones to be staying in the bunk touching up on the cleaning cos later there will be visitors coming over. And i am not playing in any of the sports.

during this week, quite a lot of things happened. to me at least. got a few new experiences. and got the feel of making difficult decisions. esp when you need to command your own friends.

this week, due to some special reasons, i was being made the leader of 50 over people. I have never lead this big group of people before. Luckly, all of them were my friends. so they were cooperative. they were rather willing to listen to me. But, rocky start as always. the first thing that i had to do the moment i was being appointed, i had to ask them to help move stuff from one place to another. Little did i know that there was a miscommunication. so i asked them to move the things from our side to another place about 100 to 200 metres away. because there was quite a lot things, i had to activate the whole 50 over people.

then when we finally moved all the stuff there, we found out that it was the wrong place. those people themselves had no idea on where to move those stuff too. and then we were told to the "wrong" place. all unhappy, we had to move the things back.

First command i issued and it was wrong. then i started to worry about what is going to happen in the future.

along the way, there were problems like not enough time and all that. we had a schedule to follow then we had to allocate the timings ourselves. and eventually, change and change and change until the finally the meal timings were affected.

There were also times where, we had to do several tasks. then i had to spread it out evenly. but because the number of tasks could not be distributed evenly, some had to do more. Thats where the problems come. who do more? i had to decide. but all of them are my friends. how?

O yea. i also had little time to prepare my own stuff. i had to be faster then other people. so i could go and hurry them to not to be late. Esp when in the morning.. where every one was reluctant to wake up early. so am i.. lol.. that was one of the more challenging things.

and heres the finale. This morning. because of the event, there were changes in our normal routine. we had to wake up earlier. and no nid to say, people are more reluctant. so we ended up being a few minutes late.

all the leaders were being punished. but i manage to escape it. why? beause today the "leader" is changed to another person. then i was supposed to had over to him properly today. and the first thing he got today was punishment... i was feeling rather guilty about it. was it my fault? should i be taking the punishment instead of him? i was their leader yesterday. and partially today. so i had the responsability to ensure their falling in and discipline. was it unfair to him for receiving the punishment?

so i supoose this sorta reflects on me ba? i didnt do my job well. Well, we are all learning. and i think it would be nice if we had teachers or people that we could consult when such problems arises.. cos now i cant think of any feasable solution to use to solve this problem.

In conclusion, being a leader was quite an intereasting thing for me. but at the same time, it was challenging,

thats all for now =)

22 JANUARY 2011 - posting from another place.

2011-01-22T22:35:00.001+08:00

well, this is one of the very first post that i am not posting at home. if im not wrong.

i feel, sometimes, when u r bored, you just suddenly feels that u have that courage to talk and any how strike a topic with any1 in your contact list that is online.

but for my case rite now, i sorta have a person that i think it would be nice if i were to be chatting with, its been a very long time since we had any form of communication.

and i am rather curious how is she doing rite now. its been quite some time since we met.

and i dun see her at archery any more. but her bow is still there.

talking about archery, things are happening. but no body is doing anything. from the last time i saw it. and i suppose if this carries on, history will repeat itself. yet for another time.

the equipment in our stores are breaking down. esp the target boards. the sides.. are splitting up. the wood is sorta giving way.. with euqipment spoiling at this rate, i wonder how are they going to last long.

ok but anyway, back to her. wonder if she is still intreasted in archery. she seems to be rather busy with her own studies and going out with friends. may b she will find a new kind of intereast? who knoes?

o yea. i think i havent said anything about my posting yet. after i was done with my bmt, i got posted to SCS. its the place where Seg are trained. sitll, i am rather curious whats in store for me. so for now, its still the start. nothing much though. but the culture here is different from the 1 in tekong. thats for sure.

16 JANUARY 2011 - The day before book in

2011-01-16T22:04:00.001+08:00

haiz..

another phase goin to start.. wad to expect?? i oso dun know...

shall go in tml and see ba..

and the cough thats bothering me.. its with me for a week plus liao. and i suspect is the sinus producing all those mucus then flow down and make me cough..

i am rather worried that the cough would affect me during physical exercises..

some how i feel that a little motivation would be nice..

cos i feel rather unmotivated rite now..

ahh.. its rather late now.. i have to wake up early tml.. i suppose i shud go slp now...

alrite.. till the next book out, thats all for now..

the end of the "1 week block leave"

14 JANUARY 2011 - The last few days before the next phase begins.

2011-01-14T09:13:00.001+08:00

alrite.. my posting will be out today.. according to the paper given its at 1000

during this week, wanted to go some new places.. but then didnt know where to go..

and with the add on of the rainy weather, its kinda difficult..

i thought of going back to sungei bulogh again. but then the doggy experience there made me think twice.. or perhaps i shud go on a weekend where there are bus services going in and out.

o yea. and the scope that i wanted.. the sniper rifle scope.. theres stock lo. but i think they changed the model they used to bring in. and now the moderate 1 costs 200 bucks. its a 6 - 24X magnification..

then come to think again.. what can i use it for? now also no time to use.. so probably wait till a later time then if theres a purpose for it then i buy ba...

12 JANUARY 2011 - Raining~

2011-01-12T14:51:00.003+08:00

rain rain ~ last few days... quite a lot of days... everyday raining.. making every night a cool cool nite~

ahh. and this morning. there was SUN ^^ so i went to do a couple of things while the sun is out.

went for a little jog in the IMH.. wanted to run leh but then the cough is stopping me from doing it. so i jog, stop, jog, stop....

ok then in the aftn.. went to fly kite.. at around?? 11 plus? rather hot. and not much wind though. BUT. at around 11.30 when i thought i would be packing up cos there was no wind, a 15 min strong wind came. =)

managed to let it fly to its max height my string could take it. good enuf =). then after the wind stopped, i pack up and went home.. and u know wad happened..

skies turned dark and rain started comin~.

10 JANUARY 2011 - The Last Week of BMT, POP

2011-01-10T14:48:00.001+08:00

well, buring the last week, we didnt really have much stuff. basically just rehearsals and clean up work to be done.

the first 2 dats monday and tuesday.. they were rehearsals after rehearsals.

then on wednesday, it was the Vetting. by higher ranking peoples. together with a live band. that was to decide if there was a need for another round on thursday..

so.. like other people, i attended the 2 rehearsals. but on thursday night, i kena fever.. for some reason i oso dun know y.. may b its because of the helmet and long standing in the sun. o yea i also kena headache too.

so on tuesday night, i was struggling.. to sleep. body dam tired after a whole day of rehearsal.. but i am wide awake feeling warm and i cant sleep. so i took my temp.. 37.8

that was at around 11 to 12 if im not wrong.. then it slowly climbed to 38.0 then dropped back to 37.8 in the morning. went to report sick, but was only given cough medicine..

nvm.. i take panadol from other ppl.. unfortunately, the temp didnt drop.. but it remained the same.. 37.8 through out the whole day..then finally... it went up to 39.2 in the evening at about 9..

lucky enough, my friend had a panadol with him. so i took one from him.. it sorta relieved the headache and dropped the temp a bit. then one of my Sergent took me to the main medical center which was still open. (it is a 24 hr medical ctr anyway) then finally at there, i got my attend C and panadol medication.

so on thursday i was on the route to recovery.. then on the same day. there is the briefing for the 24KM route march to the floating platform. and since i had fever recently only, i was given a choice.. by the officer commanding.. to go or not to go for the route march.. cos only those who went for the route march will be able to go for the parade.

that time i was afraid if i carried on with the route march, my body temp will rise to high fever again. while i am marching without me knowing. then i will be in a dangerous position.. and if my parents were there waiting for me to appear, yea i will be there but in the sick bay watching other people..

so under than condition, i made a choice not to go.. so.. not going means.. in a way wasted my father's leave? cos he took leave from his schedule just to go and watch me pop together with my sister and mother.. and may be a disappointment for them ba.

it was quite a difficult decision to make.. and i choose not to go... all i could do now is to believe, that i made the correct choice.

hai.. and to tell other people the reason for not going.. telling them i choose not to go? when i was looking forward and prepared for it? i dun know la.. i suppose its just not as easy as it appears to be...

and now looking at other people's photos, i somehow felt that i could have been there with them, graduating.

but the fact is, i wasn't there. because i choose not to.

31 DECEMBER 2010 - The last day of 2010~

2010-12-31T23:51:00.001+08:00

wow, in a blink of an eye one year passed.

many things happened this year. one of the biggest things was BMTC then followed by the holiday weeks where i went different nature reserves in singapore. and lastly, the months where is continued on the development of the software i started in delphi.

so let me wish every one out there. a fruitful 2011. Keep a smile on your face always ^^

ok now side track...

regarding my BMT... ever since i started booking out, i realized i somehow keep eating and eating.. then can keep feeling hungry de.. even though i just ate.. i cannot keep this up man.. this is not healthy.. and also.. my spending.. i did a bit of calculation.. then realized i overall spent close and sometimes higher that how much i did even before i entered army.. hm.. this means i am spending quite a lot.. and quite a bit of it on food.. i suppose something could be done on that. hahaha

30 DECEMBER 2010 - After the 16KM

2010-12-31T09:40:00.001+08:00

when i really though i wouldnt make it, in the end i did.

during the 16km route march, the first few stops felt quite ok. tired is a sure thing. but then promptly recovered a bit.

but when we reached out third rest point, at the 12 km mark, we had a rest for about less than 1 hr. dinner at the same time.

then came the the final 4 km. when it just started off, it felt ok. but when the anaerobic power supply in my legs ended, the strain came in. my stomach was busy digesting the food i just ate. and there is not enough blood to circulate the legs and shoulder.. it was tiring.

the strain became more and more.. then finally when i reached my destination, it became so jia lat that, i culd barely concentrate when other people were shouting out their songs.
it felt like a mental breakdown. i shut my ears and tried to concentrate. keeping my mind in one piece, preventing it from falling apart when i was just about to complete my march.the fatigue on my body was quite a lot. so much so that pain started to turn into numbness.

my shoulder is the most jia lat one. when we were told to take out my water bottle, i could barely reach it. and cant even bring the bottle up to me head level during water parade. and when we were asked to put our bags down, my shoulder could be barely lifted. it was even difficult to unsling my rifle properly. needless to say, i cant take off the load on my back. people around me helped me took out my field pack. i could only feel strain and pain on my shoulders.

the route march overall was tiring. but i managed to complete it. now the next thing is the 24 km route march to our pop.

same thing ba. i am worried if i will be able to complete the march. then followed by the parade

24 DECEMBER 2010 - Before 16KM

2010-12-24T15:50:00.001+08:00

well, come to think of it, my army has started for about 7 weeks already.

but just recently, its very tiring..

very little of sleep everyday.. for about 3 weeks already now..

this week also not much sleep.

i was helping out in a national education performance. so i was the one controlling their microphones. doing the usual AV stuff until their rehearsal has finished.. but also of cos helped out with their props at the same time.

today, i returned feeling tired and lonely.. today is christmas eve and come to think of it, i dont really have anywhere to go. and my frnds celebrated it last Wednesday while i was throwing grenade in army..

and have been trying... just to keep her out of the picture.. but somehow she is just being brought in. without my knowledge...

somehow i got this feeling of wanting to get into her life, ask her how is she doing and see it for myself then walk along with her..

but of cos, thats not going to happen. from wad i know..

dun know la.. sometimes this feeling of loneliness kinda consumes me.. it bites really hard.. and.. i wont die from it..

o ya.. and my right leg injury.. havent recover yet.... i am not sure how long will it take, may b a couple of weeks?

i asked out fitness instructor for some advise and he told me to do some stretching.. as though eating medicine, 3 times a day. hahaha

im now sure how will i fare for the upcoming 16km route march.. will me legs make it? that might be just another question.

alrite.. now i think i am sorta used to this kinda life style, this ns has become like a job of mine. going to work then come back.

i dun know how long i can last, now do i know what the future holds for me.

but still till now, i still wanna fulfill that one dream of mine, even though i am still wondering how..

zzz.. i dun know y la.. as i am writing this, tears are falling from my eyes. may be i am too psychology stressed up.

18 DECEMBER 2010 - The week after SITTEST

2010-12-18T15:51:00.001+08:00

well, this post will be about what happened last week. or may b i should say the last 3 days..

Last 3 days was the days where i had my test..

this is known as a situational test.. where we were broken up into groups and then attempt various situations which we were judged in.

but before the start of the test. we had a route march... 12KM this time.. it was broken up into a few intervals with a could of mins of rest at each interval.

the first 4 KM to me was alright.. then came the 8th km.. somehow that second portion was very tiring for me. my shoulders like cannot take it like that. very tiring..

my back felt as if they were breaking.. and when i tried to speed up, it felt like i would injure myself.. so i just went as fast as i could.. then when i reached the resting point, and let my bag down, wa..

my upper body like going to break up and numb.. so tiring..

but lucky the second break was rather long.. sorta rest enough to carry on. and finished the last 4 clicks.

o yea.. and that day before.. tuesday.. i has IPPT. the results were not that good. esp those stations where it relied on my lower limbs.. my legs.. i think they are already injured.. after that fielld camp.. there was a significant drop in performance. and when i tried to push on, i simply lost balance and fell. and so i had abrasion on my hand. lucky there isnt much injury on my legs.. if not i dont know how am i going to go through the route march..

ok then back to the sit test. so we were broken out into different groups.. since i didnt have a lot of strength, i just help out with what ever i could. esp the knots wherever i can. cos my hand also injured i was sorta left with one hand to work effectively.. and i tell u , it was not easy for the right hand man..

but somehow everything pulled through. and i am glad for that. now the wound has dried up and on its way to recovery, i should take good care of it.

now with the experience from the 12KM route march.. i am worried about my 16KM route march which would be the one coming up next.. how am i going to go through that.

ok la enough of last week liao..

side track a bit.. seems like she has broken up with her bf.. let me guess.. cos the bf is away for too much of the time? neglect her too much le ba? just a trough guess.. dun wanna think too much into it..

o yea.. and Christmas is coming up =) next week. and of cos, i will be out for christmas celebration ^^

take care =)

3 DECEMBER 2010 - The week before Field camp.

2010-12-03T21:22:00.001+08:00

alite.. just before the week before field camp..

my platoon was late.. the best part consequitively late.. a lot of times..

this shows that the discipline in the platoon is dropping..

i am seriously curious wad will happen in field camp..

field camp will be next week.. i shall not think too much ba.. go there then see how =)

as for last week, Live firing, Individual field craft (IFC)

Live firing..

total shot about 60+ live rounds over a period of 1 day.. 32 for trying out, 32 for taking score. and out of that, 32 shots during day, 32 shots during night. approx la..

kinda fun leh. my first shot i didnt really dare to squeeze the trigger. cos i am rather scared by the sound when i saw other people shooting before me..

then finally its my turn.. *squeeze* *Boom* and the shot flew out.. then i felt.. ok wad.. not so bad.. then i tried focusing.. then ppl beside me.. *boom* *boom*.. i was distracted and shocked by their shots. and i was like jerking up and down in my position.. lol i dun know if any one saw that.

for the day it was rather fun ba.. take care of a few factors and the shots will be fine.. but hor, my rifle.. all the shots biased right de.. and i am not allowed to adjust the sight cos the commanders say its factory zeroed and i cannot adjust it. so just aim off lo..

then came the night firing on the same day.. First kinda target.. illuminated.. was thinking.. wa.. still got light help u spot target.. ok then next target.. *lights went off* i was like.. how the hell am i going to see the target..

not to worry too much though, there was this flashing light on the target.. BUT. the flashing light haf like dun haf like tat. very dim.. cannot see much..

K then one more impt thing in the night shoot.. Tracer rounds.. 1 time shoot tracer rounds.. and it looks like shooting a ball of fire across real fast. not bad la. but when u look thru the scope, the tracer only provides little indication. so gotta kinda pay attention lo.

And for the IFC.. Kneeling.. lying on the ground.. i should say mud.. rainy season. Grass is wet most of the time. so is either got pool or just wet grass. if you are like sorta playing in it, its kinda fun actually. lol

thats about all the major things that happened..

now side track for a little..

i went to her blog.. dun know la.. from wad i read her bf is like dissappearing leh instead of being arnd.. then shes studying for exams during this period.. and.. she thinks that no 1 is reading her blog.. i wonder if i count as 1.. lol

her exam date is rather near if i am not wrong.. so gud luck and JY =)

17 NOVEMBER 2010 - first book out.

2010-11-17T14:42:00.001+08:00

and so this is the first post after i went into army..

ok la.. there were of cos difficult times.. esp when u are trying to addept to the new environment.

but i am rather sure this is only the start. there will be more to come.

o ya.. and the exercise in there..

cos of it, my entire back muscle is kinda aching every day. lol

nvm.. i suppose it will be stronger over time.

and on monday.. Draw arms..

at around 3.30.. work up at that time.. by the 2nd LT of my platoon.

the weapons assigned to us was the SAR 21

even though its only approx 4 kg, this thing is still heavy. to me.

but it seemed kinda fun. it felt and look more like a toy rather than a weapon. lol

i suppose this will be the short entry for now =)

7 NOVEMBER 2010 - =)

2010-11-07T21:13:00.001+08:00

alrite.. enlistment day is tml le...

this means no more post.. until... i am free enough to do it. lol

i also dun know until when.

but thats all for now ba..

and to her : Good luck for your exams ^^ and take care of yrself.

i guess this was what i wanted ba?

Let the instincts guide. and i shall go with the flow.

till next time =)

take care..

its a new chapter to begin. and i think i have forgotton abt her le ba..

Quote of the moment : "=)"

5 NOVEMBER 2010 - Hair?

2010-11-05T21:31:00.001+08:00

the hair. the fringe..

so long.. lol it can reach my eyes le. lol

but nvm, all da hair is goin to be gone.. in a few days time.

and her hair.. gt ppl say leave it straight down looks nicer.

but then i think sweep to one side nicer leh.

anything la its her hair. she happy can liao.

4 NOVEMBER 2010 - Up and down slopes / hills

2010-11-04T17:01:00.009+08:00

Okay... another nature reserve trip..

well, in this trip, i shud say the route i took was rather dangerous.. i shall explain more with the photos =)

ok. how i got there.. took 74 then changed to 67 then to 852.

Y change 2 times? actually change 1 time enough already.

The actual plan was to after change the bus, watch out for a esso petrol stn. when see it, its tim to alight...

ok.. then i alighted 74 along bukit timah road. then boarded 67..

few stops later, a Esso petrol stn appeared =.=!

which is wrong ne and i alighted.. finding something wrong, i see the bug stop sign.. i saw 74... if i alight correctly, 74 is not supposed to be here.. and theres supposed to be a big green path ahead. none was correct..

nvm. i wait for the next available bus, and 852 came.. this time alighted correctly.

i crossed the road.. walked the path way in and saw this road leading in.. i though it was correct so i went in...

after a while, i felt strange.. how come other ppl are walking another way? so i checked the map.. and i am supposed to be walking this way..

ok.. after a while, i arrived there...

i went foward to the info counter.. apprently, there were no brochers or maps for ppl to take. cos they were trying to save paper. nvm, got signs like this along the way can liao.

ok.. so this is the so called entrance to the park.. a steep slope that goes a long way...

i didnt actually walk that slope.. instead, i took another way.. heres the path that i intended to take. Its the yellow line then blue line then yellow line again in a loop. without going a bigger circle outside.. i shall explain more later about the extra big circle covered by the yellow line

so this was the first thing i saw when i started my route.. according to the map above, i am going anti clockwise. a twirling tree...

and following up.. stairs... upward.. dun see the stairs like that, half of the steps are almost up to knee level and some higher.

and more stairs as i go...

now now.. this is a typical scene when one looks up when he is in a nature reserve. on mud path of cos.

summore stairs i have to climb...

and more stairs..

and heres a shot of the side of the path.. a steep drop just a few meters away from the designated path..

u see how high i am? a couple of tens of meters above sea level at least..

oh. and here. i met a guy.. he was friendly. and gave me advise on where to walk.. so that i am on track and how to go to the top. good advise. if not for him, i might have walked out of the reserve already.

and at the next turn after chatting with that guy... down hill =.=! this is steep i tell u. the steps all approx knee high.

and summore downslopes XD

then i saw this hole. like cave hole like that. along the path. there were a few as if they were short cuts for the caretakers of the reserve.

then i saw this lill stream where water was flowing down the hill.

i turn left and this is the "source"

then there were huts like this along the reserve. All had maps on them tellung you where you are.

and this part.. joining back to the "main road". that was the end of one of the mud road sections.

then this stairs.. at the side there was this sign "to the summit". of cos i went up..

u will end up at this place in the map..

and here i am.. after a decent lot of stairs.. at the summit.. this is the hut at the highest point of the hill.

beside there was this rock.. telling u u are the the top..

i saw some plants behind the hut. walk there, heard some strange noise and i saw this.. monitor lizard~

a zoomed shot..

and soon after i was on my way down... nothing to see there anyway.. all blocked by trees...

a fallen tree in a reserve.. and its a whole complete tree. u dun really see this often..

and more stairs to go down after that.. =.=!! all very high...

and a slope.. looks like nothing but this is actually dangerous.. look at the right.. all are a steep drop down the hill.

and here.. took the wrong path.. this is where the big yellow loop at the top of the map comes in..

and so.. before i realised, its too late.. i am too far inside to turn back.. might as well continue all the way.. another stairs to climb XD

here.. also another dangerous spot.. small path, but a long way down..

summore stairs XD this 1 is a long way up. my legs are tired already XD

more..

wohoo stairs combo~!

enjoyment of climbing stairs..

finally~! the end of this section! back to the "main road"

greeted by a steep and long downward slope....

back at the visitor center... =) and i saw some monkeys..

another one climbing..

OK.. next.. this is another spot i found and also one of the places i wanted to go in this trip.. this is just beside the hill. LOL

so heres the map. its not very big actually.

stay right, walk all the way, i will reach a look out point.. its the hut at the stop of the map next to the querry. and this is wad u will see =)

another shot ~! towards the center of the querry..

and to the left side...

almost slipped and fell while walking a lot of times.. but overall it was very challenging =)

so, i didnt take the intended path.. instead, walked a bigger round... LOL...

3 NOVEMBER 2010 - Cockroach

2010-11-03T12:37:00.001+08:00

well, i actually dun like this insect.. as usual, this insect is seen by others as a pest.

i dun have anything against it, just that i dun like it .

And heres a encounter..

I had a urgent need for toilet.. nid to do big business. so.. i ran to the toilet, closed the door and the business started..

feeling slightly releived, i turned my head and found one cockroach on the floor.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hm.. i was thinking.. he dun move nothing will happen to him..

he moves ima take the spray and kill him..

and he didnt move =)

but then wait.. i smell insect spray in the toilet.. seems like some one used the spray before me..

may b thats the reason y he could stay there so still.

2 NOVEMBER 2010 - another weird encounter

2010-11-02T16:33:00.001+08:00

this is real weird la..

jus nw when i was in popular book store, suddenly flent a strong sense of loneliness..

as if that was the first time i was lonely.. so freakin sad.. almost cry out..

wth sia.. its not suppose to be that way..

and it took a well couble of minutes before it wore off..

2 NOVEMBER 2010 - new touring site.

2010-11-02T12:02:00.001+08:00

Been planning to go this place.. but then i waz figuring out how to go.

then after i searched bus routes online, i found out that it might be nearer to go by bus rather than MRT then bus.

change 2 bus...

Singapore is really kinda small place.. 1 bus service.. 74. got go to a lot of places.. and i got easy access to that bus ^^

then while browsing through the maps, i found out singapore botanic gardens is also a quite a big place..

i shall post on the updates after i have went there =)

1 NOVEMBER 2010 - Wondering

2010-11-01T12:16:00.001+08:00

And so i waz just wondering...

how does a guy n gal relationship actually works..

the last time i tried to analyze this, i failed.. everything doesnt link up at all..

it just makes no sense..

ok.. so ima take another approach...

how should i start...

okay.. so in a r/s, one has to be with another person he/she likes.. if not, the chance of breakup is extremely high...

so.. lets say A is a guy and B is a gal. A likes B and B likes A. fair enough..

and they often go out together, A goes to B's hse fr dinner and stuff like that.

sometimes, A is spotted by B doing things that B doesnt like. so B scolds A.

and they might end up in a qurallel.

then at some point, A starts to talk some of his logic into B. and B doesnt really like the idea. so keeps going against what A says.

and quite a number of times, B says to A. "I dun wanna b yr GF~!"...

but end up, they are still together..

ok.. with the above case, which i also dont really understand, i guess thats the way it works for their r/s.

and so what do i derive from this? the only thing i could find is communication.

Keep da communication going and the r/s will keep going.. once the communication is broken, i think the same goes to the r/s.

Other than that, i dun really see any logic or sense is the above case.. i guess r/s is strictly logic and sense free.

so can i deduce that the formula for a r/s would be

Fate + Love + Communication = successful r/s

i think thats the way it works ba.

well, as for myself, i hvent had any yet.. perhaps its not the time yet ba. I'll just wait....

dun wanna have a high expectation.. to prevent any dissapointment.. with patience.. i hope i can last it through.

31 OCTOBER 2010 - English name

2010-10-31T20:16:00.000+08:00

hm..

ive been thinking of this english name recently..

Delian.

may b i could add this to my name.. lol

30 OCTOBER 2010 - Wrist

2010-10-30T10:55:00.000+08:00

yesterday.. i think my wrist is showing symptoms XD

a few sounds like knuckle cracking at the wrist when i leaned on my right hand while sitting down on the floor.

hm.. but it didnt really hurt r anything.. just feels like the bone is outa place or sth like that.

injury from archery? i oso dun know. lol

a few other ppl also sufferin from wrist injuries due to archery... looks like gotta put more care into it ba.

29 OCTOBER 2010 - New Ideas

2010-10-29T13:09:00.001+08:00

now now.. here are some new ideas i thought i could try it out..

First. Bicarbonate of soda. or baking soda.

What isit? its a additive that can be used in baking.

Let me explain how it works in baking.

at temp that are above 70 degrees celsius, that substance breaks down into 3 components. Sodium carbonate, water and cardon dioxide gas. Sodium carbonate is also a additive that prevents caking. Caking occurs when there is too much water. like sometimes u see big balls of salt in the salt container. that is the result of caking.

ok with that, this means that this additive can give the fluffy effect to dough. I believe some bakeries use that in their bread. to make it big soft and fluffy.

This is how it works. the additive is added into the dough, and mixed with everything else. When done, it is placed the oven for baking. if i not wrong, temp setting in the oven are above 100. so, when the inside of the dough which contains the additive reaches that temp, the additive gets broken down, releasing gas. which will cae the dough to "expand" and hence, the bread becomes fluffy. This same effect can be achieved using yeast. just that yeast works in a different way.

So, if i add this while making cookie, will it cause the cookie to expand and become fluffy too? im curious. LOL or crispy also can. But if i not wrong, the temp used for cookie and bread is different. cookie should be using a higher temp. It might result like fried stuff. very crispy. lots of air bubbles in the dough. and when u bite, a lot of crisps might fall. lol

Next.

Aroma therapy.. i was thinking may b try different things.. like flower.. since they are cheap, accessable and easy to handle. then there is this tv show about aroma threapy.

but then i think again.. it could be rather nice if the house has a light tingling scent of jasmine or lemon in the air? something like air freshners.

and i read from some online sources, jasmine.. when used in aroma threapy, it can "clean" the air. how it clean i oso dun know..

then i went out to find some things i could use for trying out this idea. jasmine flower buds, tea candles, and the holder. used in aroma threapy.

the costs are kinda cheap. holder 3 dollarz, tea candles, 1 dollarz for 10 and jasmine flower buds, 50 cents per pack approx 50 or 100 grams?

but then there is this one problem. in aroma threapy, essential oils are used. meaning this like jasmine extract or jasmine oil is used. so..

if i wanna use the flower directly, how do i get the flavor out? that would be the thing that i might test in this ^^ may b add some water? or just heat up the buds directly?

28 OCTOBER 2010 - Weird feeling

2010-10-28T08:26:00.002+08:00

this is weird leh..

really weird..

i am supposed to feel happy. for a long period of time before it becomes neutral again..

but then rite now its not any feeling.. its just weird..

suppose to feel happy but then dun feel anything.

all the happiness seems like a flash of a camera. came and gone in an instant.

may b i shud giv it some time for it to become normal again.

im alrite ba.. i think..

i should be.

o ya. and my neighbour de rabbit..

the rabbit finally let me touch him.. ^^

27 OCTOBER 2010 - Things happening.

2010-10-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

h.m. i think have been disrupting my own stomach...

having irregular meals...

and its kinda showing symptoms. gas getting more in the stomach..

o yea.. and today..

the LED arrow succeeded. nice. =)

t was the effect that i wanted. but the arrow kinda fly to he right.. may b it has something to do with the fletches..

HAHAHAHHAHAHA....

NO WONDER..

i thought i actually managed to forget. the problem got solved like suddenly..

as i thought... so my prediction was true..

she got a bf now..

no wonder suddenly she got of my mind =)

FREE again~! WOOOOOO

wait.. is this a good or bad thing..

but hey. for now i am one free man again.

she is clearly of my mind~!~!~

no nid to try and forget anymore...

its already gone...

so my heart really works this way..

now it is empty again..

well, all the best to her ba. now she has a bf liao.. hu knoes when would she come back to archery again..

good luck to the club.. all the best. i hope it would still be there after 2 years. so that i still got a place to shoot =)

ha. i shall lock that space up. cover it real nice.. and wait.. i might not wanna open it back again.

...................

ok next thing.. my archery.. things got a lill better than expected. got 2 good souls bought my dampers...

now wad i nid would be a decent sight, a compound bow and a new set of arrows.. and probably a case for my compound bow..

Quote of the moment : "And yep, nothing happened."

26 OCTOBER 2010 - a sreies of events..

2010-10-26T15:56:00.001+08:00

well, a series of events..

woke up later than usual, so, the activity that i planned was pushed back.. to a a later timing..

lucky didnt clash wif other ppl hu was using that place.. some ppl came after i was ending wad i was doing..

after that i intended to have breakfast.. but then.. its like hungry but then dun know wad to eat and a little no appetite.

this problem occuring quite frequently sia.. is not that i not hungry.. i am.. just that dun know wad to eat and a little no appetite.

ok then i went home.. and shortly after that, i went out again. to buy a alarm clock for my army use. so i went to bugis..

ahh.. breakfast i only ate a lill. just a fan choi. by the time i reached bugis, its already afternoon. and i am once again hungry..

i went over to a laksa and nasi lemak stall.. quite full there. no place to sit.. nvm. since its still lunch hour, i lata then come back.

so i went to bai bai then went to buy my clock..

i think today is some kinda event sia.. the temple there a lot of people.. ok.. so after some incense, i went to buy my clock..

hm.. the model that my sister bought last time no more stock liao... nvm buy another one. o yea.. and i oso changed the watch battery.. i think the battery ran out le ba.. yesterday i see my watch is approx 20 mins slower.. lol and i never realised?

may b the batt dieing liao. then during sunday i used the stopwatch and it somehow, lagged for a decent 10+ mins. lol

ok. so i watch the person change the battery. she took a jig, and unscrewed the back cover..

and so thats how my watch is opened.. no wonder there were no screw holes.. theres only 1 big big 1 where the clock is located..

ok after buying, i went back to the place to see if theres any seats available.. nop.. still as crowded.. ok nvm.. i walk down a few more coffee shops.. either got long queue or no place to sit..

and its already 2+ and im hungry XD

i suppose going out alone thats the disadvantage ba.. when wanna go sumwhere to eat, i can "chop" he seat and go order the food at the same time.. i am by myself...

25 OCTOBER 2010 - Pad Lock.

2010-10-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

okie. the time is near. i am preparin the stuff for army oledi..

today, bought a metal cup and a pad lock.

heard from quite a number of ppl a pad lock is required as i would have to lock my own cabinet.

didint cost a lot. but i wanna comment on that pad lock..

ok.. made in china.. fine.. the rest of the lock in that shops 90% from china.. no need to choose.

those not made in china are those for doors and bigger locks..

the key.. not easy to put in.. i scared i break the key in the attempt to push it in sia..

and the locking part.. dun know is loose or wad. not easy to lock leh. muz press kinda hard. until hear 2 or 3 clicks. before it is "secured"

o yea.. and i always believed locks are just additional things that giv ppl that extra sense of security..

i believe with the right tools, the lock can be crippled. in minutes.

ever since i saw that locksmith opening a big padlock at ZH cos they lost their key, and a drill is all that is needed to make that lock useless.

and i learnt a new skill today ^^.

Quote of the moment : "I just wished i can just look at u and i have a topic we can chat together. Cos i cant find any... no matter what i try.."

24 OCTOBER 2010 - Shud proabably sleep.

2010-10-24T23:51:00.001+08:00

ok.. my head getting a lill cranky already..

i think i shopuld probably go to sleep.

before i start wondering off in my mind..

24 OCTOBER 2010 - POLITE Day 2

2010-10-24T21:39:00.003+08:00

Grats to ppl who won Today~!

nice IKO at the end =) really stretched until 5 ends finish and a tie breaker.

Results :
1 Individual Scoring Silver
1 Individual Scoring Bronze
1 IKO Gold
1 IKO Silver
*All are from novice*

la la la...~~~~~

so naive.. naive.. i am so naive..

but i dun really care..

and how ambitious of me.. cant even settle my own problem and yet attempt to help others.

hopefully that didnt lead to anything bad =)

cant i just press the delete button and everything that i wanna delete just disappears?

i just wanna forget..

just that one thing..

i dun think i am supposed to be in any part of her life..

just disconnect and make myself diappear from her..

she is leading a happy and wonderful life..

i dun wanna affect it..

without me is still the same..

so y cant i just take away that portion of it in my mind?

may b the forget feature isnt working properly.

i thought i had bad memory.

and sometimes i just envy how other ppl can just easily create a topic and start tokin.

Quote of the moment : "Because i dun wanna b living in lies, I look at the painful reality. That had little traces of happiness for now. Rather than keep on looking at the happiness that happened in the past and pretend to fill up that empty space."

23 OCTOBER 2010 - POLITE day 1~

2010-10-23T22:23:00.001+08:00

Grats to juniors today~! did a good job. and JY for the IKO tml..

as for the other archers, TKO~! JY on that =)

Results :

Secured 1 silver and bronze.

...

And yet another chance slipped..

yes.. and the same thing happened.. cant find a topic..

and when i tried to stand up from my seated position, my legs starts to cramp.. XD

man and i am so wondering y this happend..

am supposed to be forgetting about this..

and today, found myself keep lookin over to her direction.. omg..

and found out she is on the phone most of the time.. probably cos she is bored ba..

fiona oso not here nor is jasmine. no 1 she can chat wif..

hey hey.. i am supposed to be forgetting about this.. ima force it ba..

or may b not.. let time erase this away.. if that is possible.. =)

22 OCTOBER 2010 - friday afternoon / evening

2010-10-22T18:07:00.001+08:00

Ahh.. its a friday afternoon going evening and is very bored...

since i stopped playing with that dangerous item, i was thinking of something to do. but then did not come up with any idea.

okie let e tok about that dangerous thing..

its something like a spray can plus lighter. a huge ball of fire comes out.

thats wads happens normally rite?

ok. i should say that is already dangerous. but then the "fuel" for the previous case can be any spray can. like WD40 or a deodourant..

let me explain how this works.

normally, the flamable stuff is the propellent. the gas which pushes the liquid in the can out.

then the one i use is much more than that.

dangerous stuff..

i wanted to do for another trip today.. but then look at the haze. the air itself is non productive for outdor activity. i think i shall postpone it to a further date ba.

hm.. and i think i could use more actiities to do during the next week and the one after that.

hm.. and o yea. i hope the haze doesnt affect those shooting polite tml.

All da best ~!

16 OCTOBER 2010 - Amusing intro, not a bad process, windy ending

2010-10-16T22:01:00.005+08:00

Okay, this post shall be about.. the trip to macritchie...

on 15 Oct 2010 =)

before i begin.. let me get a bit off topic first..

This thing.. got some a bit sweet taste.. then after it is in your mouth for a while, the taste of sour palm comes out.

its called some cactus and R... something de la. i cant remember. i found it amusing so i went tried this instead of the almond drink that i would usually buy.

Lets start with the story..

So this is the reservoir.. that i came last time... last time i waent another route. this time i walked across the damp. whis is this.

o yea and then at the begining / ending of the damp there were these fences that had "spikes" at the ends.. probably they wanted to prevent people from going in ba

just another sceneary shot..

ok. so let the trip begin.. this is the track.. like last time.. its starting.. but this time, the sign board at the start was missing. and yea.. i saw quite a bit of monkeys around there.. and early in da morning.. i saw one male monkey.. mating with another female monkey by the river.. but the female monkey moved away. may b too many ppl were watching them le ba.

yep and like last time, the path was nothing but rocks and sand.

and along the route i walked.. i saw huts like these. last time there isnt any. i think its for shelter during rain ba

this route marker.. at certain points they are not really visible.. but this 1 is very near the hut i mentioned above.

okay.. so i walked some distance already.. and this is so called one of the check points.. where it is near the info counter.. and finally. a proper sign.

Ahh.. and around this area.. i saw this butterfly. kinda unique. not a common one. this 1 was kind enough for me to take photos of it..

attempt to get close

and it flew into my shadow. and got a better view =)

and i suppose this can count as a close up? i was sorta trying to get the camera close to the butterfly without it flying away.

Ah. and here.. this part.. while i was walking somewhere in the middle. suddenly the temperature dropped. from warm to cool. i think tht part is particularly moist compared to other region. quite a cool thing from mother nature.

then after that region, i am somewhere near the info counter..

the hut around there.. i think ppl like to go there for a picnic. in the nature =)

ok. now i am on my way to the tree top walk. and this is the slope i had to climb.. and i tell u.. this is one steep slope.. =)

its actually quite a distance up.

Last time i didnt go all the way up cos i was walking in a group and we had a planned route. so this time i was curious and went up to see wads at the top.

and it ended up with a bush like this. and i went in.. and it was just a grass patch =)

ok.. back down the slope and to the tree top walk.. this is the stairs that licks from the slope up to the tree top walk.

this is the tree top walk on the map..

and theres the entrance to the walk..

this was taken at the start of the "bridge"

and this is along the bridge

so i looked down at one side.. XD high XD

and the other side XD high.. it seems like quite a decent high to fall and cry in pain.. lol...

and the sky view here is kinda nice too

ah. and i looked directly down at my feet this time. XD high XD legs kinda soft..

and end of the "brige" there is this one way bridge.. *upslope*

and along the way i saw this bug. a random bug that appeared at a leaf..

a clearer version.

The slope down

quite a lot of stairs..

theres more~!

The Jelutong Tower... i saw a few army guys at there. they seems to have some kinda event there. they had 2 jeeps there. and a few ppl sitting at the 2nd highest level of that tower.

and this is one view from the top of that tower..

another view..

then i heard a heli coming over.. its the small black dot in the picture.. didnt manage to capture it on camera. awww

This is another sceneary site.. the connection btwn the golf course and the reservoir

one scene..

and another scene.. this was one of the scene that i was searching to recall. last time i think i took the same picture last time.

i think is this one ba.. all are nice though.

another one..

and another one just a few metres down.

looking back, the scene is actually quite nice too.

a shot at the water bank~

and a clear and far view of the water..

at this part of the golf course, i saw these sprinklers..

its like raining =)

ok.. and fastfoward... this is around the last portion of the route. its rather uneven.. and i *almost* =) sprained my ankle.. lucky i didnt =)

and theres another post about today =) just a random one la. its the previous post of this one.

16 OCTOBER 2010 - its just not happening..

2010-10-16T20:48:00.001+08:00

ya rite..

i dun think it is ever going to happen..

again, wanna start a topic.. but cant think of anything..

Its like always looking at the chance appear then let it slip by...

the cant thinkof anything problem seems to be getting serious..

lol and i wonder y..

and today i think something wrong wif me... i looked at person A.. nearly called out her name instead of person A's name.. omg.. wth is goin on..

...................

ok.. still got macritchie...let me see.. i think i shall do this in another post..

about my trip there...

14 OCTOBER 2010 - Hear Me

2010-10-14T16:16:00.003+08:00

*** This picture is obtained from the internet ***

ok.. now now.. romance comedy.. Looks like i didnt really make a wrong choice..

i quite like the plot. the story line.. nice..

the story is so much nicer than action movies.

but i suppose to watch this kinda movie need to cultivate the right kinda mood and must have the time to watch everything in 1 go or else not nice le..

may b next time i can rent movies like this =) =) =)

liked it. and i dun know wad words to use to describe it.

ok i shall make the story real simple and short.

its about.. 2 ppl hu fell in love with each other and thought each other was deaf, when at the end it turns out they both are not.

real short. that was real short. =)